This fair isle is saturated with mobile phones, you know those devices for talking to people who are elsewhere. Isn’t it about time that people understood the basic scientific facts of mobile - or Cell as our American cousins call them – phones?
Basically in order to speak to someone using a mobile phone all you have to do is dial the number and when the person you wish to speak to answers you can engage in a conversation while being free to go about your daily business. I used the term speak there. I didn’t say SHOUT!
STOP SHOUTING DOWN YOUR MOBILE PHONE! JUST DON’T DO IT. YOU DON’T NEED TO; THE OTHER PERSON CAN HEAR YOU IF YOU JUST TALK! IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT KELLY SAID TO LEE OR HOW YOU ARE GOING TO BUY ‘THAT BAG’ FROM HOLLISTER, OR WHAT TIME YOU GOT IN FROM THE CLUB ON SATURDAY OR HOW CUTE DONNA’S NEW STAFFIE PUPPY IS! STOP SHOUTING ON YOUR BLUETOOTH! YOU'RE A PEDESTRIAN! YOU'RE NOT THAT IMPORTANT THAT YOU NEED A LIEUTENANT UHURU DEVICE STUCK IN YOUR EAR WHILE YOU GO TO PRIMARK!
I JUST DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT, OKAY?
PLEASE FOR PITTY’S SAKE STFU!
...that is all